Holidays – Supporting a family or friend experiencing domestic violence

Holidays typically mean time with family, with people we love and who love us too. These much-needed breaks provide a time to rest and recharge as you enjoy spending time with loved ones. However, sometimes this means helping loved ones who are dealing with abuse.  

If your loved one tells you they are experiencing abuse, start by believing. If they come to you it is because they trust you and feel safe with you, the best thing you can do is to respect that. 

Here are some tips for how to be supportive of loved ones being abused. 

Don’t be afraid to bring up the subject. Talk to your friend or relative. Ask where they would feel comfortable talking, keeping in mind privacy and safe locations. 

Acknowledge their situation. Let the person know it is not their fault. The responsibility lies with the person who has hurt them. Let them know that it is okay to feel hurt, sad, humiliated, etc. Give them a chance to vent their feelings. 

Validate their experience. Let them know that you are concerned for their physical and emotional safety and if they have children, that you are concerned for their children as well. 

Let them know there is help available. Encourage them to call CAPSA to discuss a safety plan and learn about community resources. 

Respect their choices. Survivors of domestic violence may return to the abusive relationship many times. Do not abandon them (even when it is discouraging). Never let them believe that they have lost their chance to come to you again, if needed. 

Caring for a family member in these situations is never easy, but remember that you are not alone. CAPSA can help you and your loved ones plan for safety and get connected to helpful resources.

Call our Support Line at 435-753-2500 to find out how CAPSA can help.